2021.10.16 21:37 Allanther An Old Man's Journey now available on Amazon!
|submitted by Allanther to sciencefiction [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 cinkat10 Ever feel like people undermine your situation?
Hey everyone! I am not sure if I should post this on this forum or the “relationship advice” one so I apologize if anyone feels this post shouldn’t be here. Long post warning!
I am 23 and a new college graduate. I work full time. But this situation has been going on for a bit and still affects me to this day.
In summer of 2014 (just shy of turning 16), I thought it was so important to have so many Instagram followers! I’m a huge Disney lover. So I followed people who were following a big Disney account, in hopes of following me back. One person, who I will call E, followed me back. He was my age. He started trying to talk to me via Instagram DM. I really wasn’t thrilled but at the time I was a people pleaser and decided to talk. Comments that he had left on my posts did concern people (him saying I was pretty and calling him “creepy”) but I ignored their concerns thinking E meant no harm.
In January of 2015, I planned to block him. But then he told me his mom was diagnosed with cancer. Feeling bad, I decided not to block him. In June, I wanted to block him again, then his mom passed away. So I felt bad if I blocked him.
Later in the year, I was in a tough spot. My closest friendships ended for various reasons (one was mad I didn’t like her bf, the other was a misunderstanding then she made another friend end her friendship with me), my grandma passed 3 days before my 17th birthday, and my parents abruptly took me away from the license clinical social worker I was seeing. They got mad that she called them out on stuff and called her an “idiot.” I was lost, and desperate for companionship.
Thanksgiving of 2015, my mom, sister and I were going to Disney (we are from Florida). E lived an hour away from me and happened to have been going there at the time too. He wanted to meet up. I asked my parents hoping they would say no. But my parents said I should cause I “need more friends.” I did tell them I didn’t wish to meet him. But I met him. During the same trip, my best friend, H (a guy who is still my best friend to this day) met up with me and E. That day, E asked me on a date and I accepted.
The first month of the relationship was fine. However, he lived an hour away and my parents had to drive me to see him. His father didn’t do much for his kids. He was too busy with his new girlfriend. After the month, E started making comments about my physical appearance. He lost a lot of weight himself. He would call me pregnant (which if I was it was not his), told me if I wanted him to stop I had to lose weight. He would tell me what I should and shouldn’t eat. He also made me feel guilty about talking to any male outside of my family. Including H. Even if I asked the guy next to me in math class for a pencil, I felt guilty. I felt like I owed it to E to tell him. Sometimes he would ask if I wanted to break up.
In March of 2016, at the age of 17, I made the choice to undergo breast reduction surgery. I was having bad back and neck pain. After I got out of surgery, though groggy, I texted H, E, and a female friend I was out and okay. E didn’t seem phased by the fact I was having big surgery and didn’t care I was out. During my recovery, he said he wanted to “see” me and I declined, and he didn’t know why I was “hiding this” from him. Also, during this time a classmate of his sent me an Instagram DM informing me that E was flirting with other girls. I blocked her and never mentioned it to E.
I considered ending things with him but he threatened his life if I did. Also, it was okay if he did certain things but if I did the same I was the bad guy.
In May of 2016, he and I saw a movie. I’m not a big movie goer but it was all he ever did. He asked if I liked the movie and I said no. He then “needed time to think.” A few hours later he ended things with me cause I “didn’t like movies” and he was getting “bored” of the relationship. I begged him to stay. He then said he didn’t like my acne or my weight. I told my mom what was going on and she said “he kept trying to show you movies and you said no. It’s too late now.”
After the fact, E kept contacting me. He kept trying to one up me. For example, he asked me what was up and I told him my cat who I was very attached to unexpectedly died the night before. He replied with “my great aunt died.” We had made plans to meet up at universal over the summer. We stupidly chose to keep those plans and it was awful! He was rude to me and my mom.
Come senior year of high school. I was taken off my anxiety meds and subsequently started dropping weight. The meds caused the weight gain. I also started acutane, the harshest acne meds that is used when every other option has been exhausted.
In 2017, I was in the shower when a lightbulb went off. E emotionally abused me! I told H and a female friend. They both said they saw red flags but didn’t tell me cause I seemed happy. Sadly, if they told me I may have ignored them.
I went to my senior prom. My date was a friend from my science class. I posted about prom on Snapchat. E messaged me asking how prom was (so he knew I was there). He then proceeded to basically tell me he still wanted me in his life. I dismissed him, and subsequently blocked him. I didn’t want him knowing anything about my life. I had an anxiety attack due to this. And it wasn’t the first time he contacted me for something stupid. He even tried to add me on Facebook once I started college.
I obviously can’t speak for him, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn. By the time I graduated high school and started college, I was this cute/pretty/sexy thing. Maybe he wanted me back cause I “got pretty” again. Apparently more people than I thought were interested in me when I started college. But due to my experience with E, I was apprehensive to date again. But in January of 2019, I told off E. He apologized to me and H for his behavior. He said he was depressed after his mom passed and had no filter. That did explain but not excuse his behavior. He will always have my sympathy regarding her passing. I got the closure 17 year old me would have wanted. It took almost 3 years but I forgave him.
Now you have the context. I told both my parents. My mom said “I wish I knew. Cause I was driving my ass up there every week.” Basically she made herself the victim. My dad told me E was not abusive because he didn’t hit me. He was just a “dumb kid.” But the therapists I saw after the fact all agree that E was abusive.
I was in a relationship briefly with a guy in summer 2019 who assaulted me. I didn’t do anything cause I did not realize the extent of the situation. I told my mom and she said “well you did not have to go to his dorm” or “you did not have to go in his car.” Then when I started crying she told me to pack my college stuff cause I was coming home. She’s said some awful things to me regarding other situations but I prefer not to discuss that here.
Sorry for the long post! But has anyone ever undermined your situation, victims blamed or made themselves the victim? How do you deal with it?
Please no rude comments and thank you!
submitted by cinkat10 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 21:37 Hypx Los Angeles startup to test hydrogen-powered passenger jet
|submitted by Hypx to hydrogeneconomy [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 Linguini_gang pain
|submitted by Linguini_gang to HuTao_Mains [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 3coasters ich🎵iel
|submitted by 3coasters to ich_iel [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 vegassatellite01 Identify this spider please. He's currently occupying my bathtub.
|submitted by vegassatellite01 to spiders [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 Cactus170 Anyone want to jerk to Tamzin
|submitted by Cactus170 to Tamzintabernsfw [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 123_why_123 Anyone able to tell the age of this Asian forest scorpion based in its size?
|submitted by 123_why_123 to Scorpions [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 Serendiplodocus I have posters for my audiobooks, but I'm having to manually select them
Hi, I'm not sure what setting this should be, but when I add an audiobook, I'm having to manually select the poster for each one. How can I get it to automatically select the poster?
submitted by Serendiplodocus to PleX [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 21:37 nondescript1000 struggling to keep motivation today
I still have that lingering feeling like nicotine is the thing that's missing in any given moment. But I know that's just my brain playing tricks on me. Caught up in the in lose-lose where I hate when Im vaping and I hate when I'm not.
But I'm always happy when I go another day without it. I wonder if ill ever be truly free from craving while people around me continue to smoke and vape. It seems like I'll have to carry this weight around with me for a while.
Sending support to anyone struggling with similar feelings. Quitting is the way to go
submitted by nondescript1000 to QuittingJUUL [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 21:37 _zenora_ If a human was thrown into a pit of maggots, would the maggots eat you alive?
Like, I'm talking everything. Maybe not bones because idk if bones can be eaten by maggots, but would they start eating you or do they not eat such big live things?
submitted by _zenora_ to ask [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 21:37 homosepianoid What do you want to say to yourself future 70 years old you?
2021.10.16 21:37 PassiveSafe6 Unfunny memes are my speciality.
|submitted by PassiveSafe6 to memes [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 crouts0 The removal of all archival information on Ninjai is absolutly terrifying.
2021.10.16 21:37 spy388 Want to know where the winning went? I have them.
|submitted by spy388 to TimHortons [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 DandHnerdgeek I see a lot of questions, here is a nice article on cast iron pans. https://www.americastestkitchen.com/guides/cook-it-in-cast-iron
2021.10.16 21:37 Ashishishee Lets ADD each other on SC???
2021.10.16 21:37 Ok_Somewhere_6244 I believe I can fly
|submitted by Ok_Somewhere_6244 to FIFA22 [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 JSK_06 where should I play?
Hello, I'm a 14 year old pitcher turning 15 this November, but I have a bit of a struggle. I live in Canada, so there's only basketball, hockey and other sports teams, and no baseball team in my highschool. With that option out of the way, is there any other options I should look into? Thank you!
submitted by JSK_06 to Homeplate [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 21:37 Matt_McT Los Angeles FC  - 0 San Jose Earthquakes | Danny Musovski 3' (Nice Assist)
|submitted by Matt_McT to MLS [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 Quiet_Cupcakess Who is a diva we can all look up to?
2021.10.16 21:37 MaxWave8788 B4B - Keep getting stiffed. 1 boost left to return the favor
2021.10.16 21:37 AutoModerator DOORDASH COUPON PROMO CODE: $10 OFF YOUR FIRST THREE ORDERS OVER $15 (WORKING SEP. 2021)
Unlimited uses, just have to create new accounts whenever you’ve used up your three previous discounts and want more cheap food! 🙂
submitted by AutoModerator to DoorDashCoupon [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 21:37 Morgan-992 Less stress. Is your cat the curious type? Let them take a look around so they know where they are. They’ll feel less stressy if they can see out. Adjustable. Adjust the openings for your cat’s head and their two front paws. Don’t want them peeking out? Just close things up and lock them in. Connect
|submitted by Morgan-992 to McrOne [link] [comments]|
2021.10.16 21:37 magickalwhimsy That couldn’t have lined up any better!
|submitted by magickalwhimsy to mildlyinteresting [link] [comments]|